Good Black Men Are Angry at You

Intimate Relationship is a serious issue in this society that we live in. From the time that our hormones point at the opposite sex at a young age, until we have no more libido left in our system at an old age; our daily lives will be shaped by how we relate to each others intimately. These lifelong experiences will build and define us; and bias our views on how we select and keep future partners. Moreover; the way we pursue and see intimate relationships within our prime years (Junior HS/HS/College years) will become instructional guides to how we select the “one”. This is the time that we wish that we won’t make the same mistakes we made in our failed past relationships, when choosing the “one”.

In a traditional more-common sense, the male is the predator and the female is the prey. The man is the one who “walks up” to the lady and sing poetry to her heart; if she falls for it… “gotcha” she’s coming home. He’s in control, he’s the man. However the deeper we look, the more we’ll see that this predator and prey analogy has more interconnected bits to it. It’s more perceived that, the woman is the one who falls for the trap… however it could be that; the trap was set by the woman, and both sexes fall in it at the wish of the woman.

In reality, women set the standards and men follow them; it’s that simple. You may think that you as a man have the power to get any woman you want; but you know who you will approach and who you won’t. It’s their personas that dictate your behavior toward them. If they want this type of guy; and you’re not “that” type of guy, what do you do? You become “that” type of guy to get them. And this is how it happens from the first time you saw that girl in your middle school’s science class. The moment you laid your eyes on her, you told yourself: what do i have to do to get her? What does she likes? What makes her smile etc… You done everything to get her attention and come to you. This is a scenario that happens all over; even in the animal kingdom.

And this is where it all starts, and your next years as you mature through teenage-life and adulthood until you settle with that “one” person; you will become “that” person that “that” girl wants you to be.

However it will be really sad if the person that “that” girl wants you to be is a lowlife, a GANGSTA, BALLA, FLY/FRESH kid etc… It’s very sad if in order for you to make her smile and wants you; you have to be this materialistic rebel with no cause and no road. Even more sad, if you as this vulnerable teenager with no real world issues on your shoulders and is at this stage of insecurity, wanting to fit in and get the chicks-age will do just that in order to get her. She set the standard, and you’re following it so she’ll be yours . She wants the hood-brother with the nice whip and flashy expensive clothes; you’ll forget school and sling rocks to impress her. Unfortunately the standard set is no heaven; say hello to the warden officer.

Relationships are the backbone to our futures.

Now, imagine all these teens falling in this trap to impress these young girls; then you will see why there aren’t enough good Black Men for these Black Women when they’re looking for the “one”.

Which brings me to the topic; Black women need to get it together when it comes to relationships. You can’t shun us down when we were in High School and expect us to welcome you after Graduate School. The medication for your whining about not finding a good Black man today; was prescribed in your younger years. Everybody and their mama knows that Black girls are not interested in success bound Black boys; call it generalization, but generalization is based on constant observation.

H.S. years (especially) are when we start developing these strong sexual hormones; and the opposite sex becomes the most important thing in our lives. We play hide and seek, hard to get, predator and prey or whatever; but we chase each other and “enjoy it”. This is also the time you start making everlasting impacts on people; scars may heal on a child, but after a while they leave marks. If you didn’t want someone before because they weren’t that GANGSTA, BALLAFLY/FRESH kid… how do you expect that person to want you in the future? When you finally realized that your formerly preferred mate was a “juvenile” choice? Nah; Life goes on.

Therefore it’s partly your fault that there aren’t enough Good Black men out there, because the vulnerable good ones turned bad to impress your juvenile wants. The few left are too few and angry at you.

Hey don’t get mad… it’s just an opinion (Biased I know) based on observed generalization (if that makes sense) 🙂

Well this is just a one man’s words.


About shakanova

I am water my friend


  1. Alpha

    “In reality, the women set the standards and men follow them; it’s that simple. ”

    Sadly, you speak too much truth. However, I don’t think “it’s that simple”, and it’s not universally applicable, if I say so myself. I hate to sound like this, but the problem is that most people (not just guys) have no minds of their own, and they will compromise their character for many things: money, fame, fitting in, sex (duh!), etc…

    But ultimately, it’s a choice that you have to make. Women can set “standards” all they want, but it’s up to you whether you’re going to tow the line or not. Speaking for myself, I know that I have my own standards and I would never change my beliefs/behavior or sacrifice my self-respect to please/attract anyone. A girl may be hot as hell (also known as being “doable” :-] ) and for that she will get a few glances and head-turns from me (because I’m a sophisticated gentleman who appreciates beautiful art :-] ), but for example, if she has the mentality that the Kardashians and Justin Bieber are the most interesting things under the sun, I could never entertain having a RELATIONSHIP with her because I know she would bore me to tears … and intellectually, I just wouldn’t have any respect for her. No respect, no love.

    My point is this: whatever her standards are, whether “good” or “bad”, “mature” or “juvenile”, “classy” or “ghetto”, ultimately it does not matter and I honestly don’t care. Because the only question I ask myself is this: is she up to MY standards? (whatever these may be) And this is how any self-respecting guy should behave.

    As for your point about Black girls hooking up with thugs, yep, again you’re right. It’s rampant. Personally, those are not usually my kind of girls, so I couldn’t care less. But I think there’s more to it. Frankly, I cannot fault a woman for wanting to be with a MAN rather than a sissy! I think it’s perfectly proper for a girl to expect her man to behave like a MAN. I know I would be repulsed by a chick that acted like a dude!

    The typical nerd/booksmart dude is a weak-ass, effeminate, embarrassing excuse for a man. He’s usually a doormat who lets everyone walk over him; he has bad hygiene, an atrocious sense of style, an ugly body, etc… Why should a girl want to be with someone like that? Absolutely no reason, and I fully respect that!

    That said, this doesn’t make it right to …um… how do i put this delicately? …. um… slut it up with the “gangstas”. As a guy, the alternative is not just between being a “nice” guy and being a thug. You can be nice, intelligent and stand up for yourself. These are not mutually exclusive. Work on your mind AND your body. You don’t have to engage in unprovoked violence, sell drugs, do drugs, or rock all the latest trends in a competition for who’s the “freshest”. However, you should clean up, wear clothes that fit you and that YOU like, and focus on accomplishing your goals, blah blah blah…..

    As for the question “what happened to all the good Black men?”, um…. WTF happened to all the good Black women? I swear, girls are the most arrogant of all creatures. Most of you are rude, shallow, ignorant, materialistic as hell and you don’t make the slightest effort to develop a good personality, because apparently being hot is enough. Since when did “good looking” become a synonym for “good character”? BTW, not all of you are THAT good looking. Something to keep in mind. Moving on….

    Back to @Ajani: you said that “Relationships are the backbones to our future.” You should probably know more about this than I do since you’re the psychological “science” major :-p, but if you’ll permit me to be a little arrogant, I think this is a mistaken mentality to adopt. The problem we’re discussing here is caused precisely by the fact that people are too obssessed with fitting in and getting into all kinds of relationships, and they’re willing to sacrifice everything for this. It’s true, we humans are social animals, but we’re also volitional animals, i.e.: we have free will.

    I think it’s wrong to make other people your PRIMARY concern in life. Your dignity, your self-respect, your principles, honesty and the truth should always come first. By no means am I saying that relationships are unimportant. In fact, I think they’re extremely important, but only when they’re good relationships, and even then, they should be secondary and complementary to the whole of your life. You cannot (or rather you should not) look to other people to fill whatever void you have within you. It’s not OK to just shut your mind, compromise your values and go with the herd, just so you can belong. If you must travel in packs, travel along with those who are already headed your way. My point essentially being: it’s better to have one very good friend (or lover) than having a million acquaintances….

    ….but then gain, it’s just this one man’s opinion. :-p

    Peace on Earth … and Mars. 😀

    • Ajani

      Oh wow; what a lengthy and thoughtful response from you bro. I appreciate your stance and solution.
      However I do want to emphasize that Relationships are the backbone to our futures; now if the term relationships is broken down, then we can weight which one may perhaps be more important to human development.
      In this case, i think intimate relationship is a big part in this society that we live in. I keep emphasizing this society; because in other parts of the world: intimate relationships don’t play much of a big part in their lives because of cultural reasons.

  2. Pingback: The African teenager and his self-destructive path « ShakaNova

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: