Intimate Relationship is a serious issue in this society that we live in. From the time that our hormones point at the opposite sex at a young age, until we have no more libido left in our system at an old age; our daily lives will be shaped by how we relate to each others intimately. These lifelong experiences will build and define us; and bias our views on how we select and keep future partners. Moreover; the way we pursue and see intimate relationships within our prime years (Junior HS/HS/College years) will become instructional guides to how we select the “one”. This is the time that we wish that we won’t make the same mistakes we made in our failed past relationships, when choosing the “one”.
In a traditional more-common sense, the male is the predator and the female is the prey. The man is the one who “walks up” to the lady and sing poetry to her heart; if she falls for it… “gotcha” she’s coming home. He’s in control, he’s the man. However the deeper we look, the more we’ll see that this predator and prey analogy has more interconnected bits to it. It’s more perceived that, the woman is the one who falls for the trap… however it could be that; the trap was set by the woman, and both sexes fall in it at the wish of the woman.
In reality, women set the standards and men follow them; it’s that simple. You may think that you as a man have the power to get any woman you want; but you know who you will approach and who you won’t. It’s their personas that dictate your behavior toward them. If they want this type of guy; and you’re not “that” type of guy, what do you do? You become “that” type of guy to get them. And this is how it happens from the first time you saw that girl in your middle school’s science class. The moment you laid your eyes on her, you told yourself: what do i have to do to get her? What does she likes? What makes her smile etc… You done everything to get her attention and come to you. This is a scenario that happens all over; even in the animal kingdom.
And this is where it all starts, and your next years as you mature through teenage-life and adulthood until you settle with that “one” person; you will become “that” person that “that” girl wants you to be.
However it will be really sad if the person that “that” girl wants you to be is a lowlife, a GANGSTA, BALLA, FLY/FRESH kid etc… It’s very sad if in order for you to make her smile and wants you; you have to be this materialistic rebel with no cause and no road. Even more sad, if you as this vulnerable teenager with no real world issues on your shoulders and is at this stage of insecurity, wanting to fit in and get the chicks-age will do just that in order to get her. She set the standard, and you’re following it so she’ll be yours . She wants the hood-brother with the nice whip and flashy expensive clothes; you’ll forget school and sling rocks to impress her. Unfortunately the standard set is no heaven; say hello to the warden officer.
Relationships are the backbone to our futures.
Now, imagine all these teens falling in this trap to impress these young girls; then you will see why there aren’t enough good Black Men for these Black Women when they’re looking for the “one”.
Which brings me to the topic; Black women need to get it together when it comes to relationships. You can’t shun us down when we were in High School and expect us to welcome you after Graduate School. The medication for your whining about not finding a good Black man today; was prescribed in your younger years. Everybody and their mama knows that Black girls are not interested in success bound Black boys; call it generalization, but generalization is based on constant observation.
H.S. years (especially) are when we start developing these strong sexual hormones; and the opposite sex becomes the most important thing in our lives. We play hide and seek, hard to get, predator and prey or whatever; but we chase each other and “enjoy it”. This is also the time you start making everlasting impacts on people; scars may heal on a child, but after a while they leave marks. If you didn’t want someone before because they weren’t that GANGSTA, BALLA, FLY/FRESH kid… how do you expect that person to want you in the future? When you finally realized that your formerly preferred mate was a “juvenile” choice? Nah; Life goes on.
Therefore it’s partly your fault that there aren’t enough Good Black men out there, because the vulnerable good ones turned bad to impress your juvenile wants. The few left are too few and angry at you.
Hey don’t get mad… it’s just an opinion (Biased I know) based on observed generalization (if that makes sense) 🙂
Well this is just a one man’s words.